A Process Server Walks Into a Bar . . .

A Process Server walks into a bar with a summons under his arm. He has to serve a divorce action on a “John Smith” who is known to be a frequent customer at the bar. The Process Server has a description of the man and some other facts about him, which the wife in the case, Mary Smith, has provided.

John Smith is 5 feet 10 inches tall and weighs about 180 pounds. He has medium-length brown hair, hazel eyes, and a good tan from working construction. He shaves on average, once every two weeks. He wears a baseball cap almost everywhere he goes, inside and out. John Smith uses alias names because no one believes his real name. He will not react to someone calling him “John Smith.” Some of his aliases are “Bubba Wild,” “Hank Hargrave,” “Bobby Jett” and “Bucky Green.” His favorite football team is the Pittsburgh Steelers. John Smith drinks draft beer. He likes blonde women. He drives a white Chevy pick-up. The Process Server noticed that a white Chevy pick-up was parked outside the bar.

The Process Server sees seven men seated at the bar. All but two have on baseball caps. He cannot tell the height of the men, because they are sitting. All but one has medium-length, brown hair. Three are clean-shaven. The other four have scruffy beards. In the dim light of the bar, he cannot tell the color of the men’s eyes. The Process Server knows it is probably useless, but he asks,” Anyone here know a John Smith?” All the men shake their heads, indicating “No.”

The Process Server sits at the bar and orders a draft beer. All the men at the bar are drinking draft beer. A football game between the Steelers and Miami is playing on the sports screen.

The Process Server asks, “Anyone pulling for the Steelers?” All the men nod a “Yes,” and keep their eyes focused on the game.

A commercial comes on, and the Process Server says, “What we need is about ten good-looking blondes to come in and join us.”

The men all raise their glasses and respond, “I’ll drink to that.”

The Process Server thinks of one last thing to try. He walks out of the bar, then he turns around and rushes back in.  ”Hey,” he shouts, “Some lady named Mary just rammed her car into a white Chevy pick-up – on purpose!”

One of the men at the bar stands up. “I’ll kill her,” he says.

“You’re served,” the Process Server says, as he hands John Smith the summons.

Moral: Don’t let your dislike for your spouse be used to your disadvantage in your divorce. Develop a sound case strategy and stick to the game plan.

By Diana Knowles Dunlop, Family Law Attorney (www.divorceorlando.net)